Fire Stories
Imparting wisdom, inviting conversations, making connections and ‘turning strangers into family.’ RUPERT BATES talks to Felicity King around the fire
To Farnham rugby club in Surrey. A short stroll down Wilkinson Way to meet with friends for a fireside chat – and slices of reverse seared côte de boeuf with chimichurri sauce. This is BBQ: Fire, Food & Outdoor Living after all.
The sporting world remembers Jonny Wilkinson for a stellar rugby career and kicking that drop goal to win the Rugby World Cup for England against Australia in Sydney in 2003.
He would doubtless have practised such a kick countless times as a child playing his junior rugby at Farnham; the posts in smoky silhouette as we sat around the flames of the Kadai fire bowl.
Jonny was not with us this evening, but he was referenced, for he is now a hugely respected health and wellbeing advocate, and One Living, the brand created by Jonny and rooted in his own mental health journey, was the drinks partner, with kombucha and water kefir to wash down the BBQ food, complete with health shots marked Energy, Gut, Beauty and Brain.
“How we eat, drink and feel is all connected and improving the quality of what we put into our body will result in us getting more out of life and how we live it,” says Jonny.
The reason for the fireside chat? The opportunity to talk, or not, once the final whistle has blown at your rugby club, or stumps drawn after a day’s cricket, as BBQ magazine introduces the concept of fireside gatherings to sports clubs and other communities across the UK.
The clubhouse bar might be the natural habitat for song and celebration. A fire can honour victory, but salve loss too, be it a sporting context or a personal one. Nothing signals contemplation and reflection like smoke off a fire, and if there is the aroma of BBQ cooking too, there is no better place to gather – shared food the ultimate communal connection.
“Fire is ancient connection. Humans have gathered around fire for over a million years. It wasn’t just for heat or scaring away wild animals, it was where stories were told, wisdom was passed down, and community bonds were strengthened. In many cultures, the campfire is seen as a sacred space where secrets are safe, and spirits are at ease,” says Felicity King, a behaviour specialist, helping people thrive in their careers through leadership development and coaching and a simpler understanding of the human experience.
To sit around a fire with Felicity, who grew up on a farm in North Yorkshire, exposed to the rhythms of nature from an early age, and you instantly feel emboldened to share stories.
“The decisions my family made and the way we moved through life were shaped by seasons, weather, and the quiet guidance of the land. The elements play a huge part in how we live and work, and fire has always been a faithful companion. It’s been there for warmth, for light, for cooking food, and for creating moments of togetherness.”
Felicity says watching flames gently flicker lowers heart rate and blood pressure, helping us unwind. “It can shift our brainwaves from busy, stressed beta waves to more relaxed alpha waves – like a natural meditation. The warmth soothes us on a deep level, engaging the vagus nerve, which supports calm and social connection,” says Felicity.
“Unlike harsh blue light from screens, firelight is warm and gentle. It doesn’t mess with melatonin (our sleep hormone), so it helps us wind down and stay in tune with our natural circadian rhythm. Our ancestors used firelight to signal the end of the day and to come together before sleep. It’s like an ancient bedtime story for our bodies.”
Fire, says Felicity, turns strangers into family, sharing food, songs, laughter, and even silences that say more than words ever could. Her own work is all about turning human potential into lasting growth, with her first book, Rewilded: Nature’s Wisdom, Human Growth, published later this year.
“The flames offer a shared focus that makes it easier to open and connect. Sitting in that warm glow, we remember we belong to something bigger than ourselves.”
As we sat with Felicity, sausages on sticks turning over the coals of the Kadai, we explored natural breathwork alongside the flames. “This simple, powerful practice helps bring clarity and renews mental energy, acting like a gentle internal reset, so we can show up more fully for ourselves and each other.”
Fire, says Felicity, communes with us in different ways – a grandmother passing down family stories; a lone traveller finding comfort and safety in a small campfire; a village feast where fire transforms raw ingredients and relationships; or simply two friends sitting quietly, letting the fire speak for them.
“Fireside conversations are a return to a rhythm we’ve almost forgotten. They invite us to slow down, breathe deeply, listen more, and feel a genuine sense of warmth, inside and out.
So, next time you find yourself by a fire, take a moment to feel the shift in your body and mind. Notice the quiet connection building around you. And maybe, just maybe, let a story find its way into the flames.”
With thanks to our fireside companions, and partners Kadai, Yeti, One Living, Bryant & May, Certainly Wood and Courage People.
